The Natural Man...

Mosiah 3:19 states, "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

This scripture is pretty clear. The natural man is an enemy to God. So let's just not be the natural man, right? 

If only it was that easy! 

Every person struggles with the natural man and I would even say that every person struggles with their own version of the natural man. Everybody has different struggles. 

I struggle a lot with keeping my focus on goodly things. For instance, I love TV. And often times the shows that I enjoy don't invite the Spirit and my husband has to remind me that "We seek after goodly things.."

Where I struggle, another will flourish. Maybe watching TV isn't something that you struggle with, but I am sure you struggle with something of the natural man. 

Everybody will also have different strategies to "put off the natural man." For me, I really depend on my husband and my daughter to keep me in check. Before I watch a TV show or movie, I ask myself if my husband would watch it or if I would be comfortable watching it with my daughter. Another thing I have started to do is to ask myself, "Would I be comfortable if the Savior sat down and watched this with me?"

My husband and I have a quote on our wall that says: 

"Christ is the head of this house, An unseen guest at every meal and a silent listener to every conversation."

I think it is really important to remember that and by doing things that keep the Savior present in our homes, we can shirk off the natural man.

Three Wolves...

In Bruce C. Hafen's talk, "Covenant Marriage" he introduces the three wolves that can endanger a marriage.

The first wolf, is natural adversity. Natural adversity is the trials that come from life. Life is never trial free. Even the Savior, who lived a perfect life, had trials. Adversity and pain comes to everybody. Some couples go through trials of loss, infertility and financial woes.

The second wolf are the imperfections of spouses within a marriage and how those imperfections create issues within the marriage. For example, when one spouse is more critical then they are praising of their spouse, it can create more issues within the marriage.

The third wolf is outside attitudes such as individualism working its way between spouses. In today's society "I" comes before "we" no matter what. My own family has often said things to me like, "Why burden yourself with more children? Go see the world with your husband, make memories, do something else with your life... etc." In my opinion and I think that my opinion matches up with the Lord's, there is nothing greater that I could do with my life than be a mother or be a wife. I am working my way towards perfection or becoming more Christ-like. That is my goal in life and society's attitudes seem to completely ignore that.

In my opinion, the most dangerous of these wolves is the second one. We can attempt to block the outside world and we will always deal with natural adversity. But, unless we confront our imperfections and work on them, there is nothing we can do to protect our marriages.

In my marriage, something that I have to constantly be aware of is my anxiety issues. My anxiety issues come from some earlier abandonment issues from my childhood. My father left my family when I was 2.5 and he never came back. This has caused a lot of issues for me and my husband. My anxieties make me really insecure in my relationship with my husband. The first year was really difficult for us, simply because we hadn't learned to communicate about the emotions I was feeling. My husband and I finally discovered that when I was feeling particularly insecure about aspects of our relationship, I needed to bring them up in a non-confrontational way and let my husband know what I am feeling. It is now a running joke in my home to say, "I'm only telling you this because I know you can't read my mind..."

We've discovered that communication is a key way that we can protect our marriage, but is not the easiest thing in the world. We have to constantly work on this. It reminds me of what Professor Mad-Eye Moody (Harry Potter) always says, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!"

Protecting the Divine Institution of Marriage

So much of the reading this week had to do with the legal side of marriage and how we can protect it. As I sat reading the articles that were assigned I could not help but think about a different side of it. 

Maybe it is just where my mind is at this time in my life as a Mother, but I just kept thinking, what can I do for my children to protect marriage? 

I am only one person. I only have so much influence over the world. 

But then, in Relief Society this week a lesson was given on Motherhood and the divine power we have as mothers. 

The lesson was based mostly on this talk by Sheri L. Dew titled, Are We Not All Mothers? . A quote was shared from this talk that really struck me. Here it is: 

"Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable” ² regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail."

Satan knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. Was it not the teachings of their Mother's that brought the Son's of Helamen comfort? For they said, "We do not doubt, our mothers knew it." 

What was it that their Mother's knew? 

They knew and obviously taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

They taught their son's not only WHO they are but WHOSE they are. 

To me, that is the most important thing I can do personally to protect the divine institution of marriage. Teach my children the Gospel of Jesus Christ both in word and in deed. By doing this I will raise strong sons and daughters who will hopefully go on to teach my grandchildren the same things. By doing this I will raise sons and daughters who not only know the right thing to do, but who will actually do the right thing when called upon. 

Protecting my Family

“Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.”

  - Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Nov. 1980, 4

This quote makes me think about what it actually means to believe in family. I've never actually thought about it before, simply because I have always accepted that my ideas surrounding family was the same as everybody else. Which to a point, is true. Due to my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I tend to surround myself with other members of that faith who tend to have the same general ideas of family. 

I think that in order to fully understand this quote, we have to understand what is meant by the word believe. Believe, according to the dictionary means, "to accept as truth or to feel sure of the truth of something..." Is the family true? This seems to be a silly question. How can something like the family be true or false? The family just is right? 

What would make a family true? 

Is the truth of family based on if they are a "good" or "bad" family? I am hesitant to say that this makes families true as the ideas behind what makes a family good or what makes a family are really subjective. My idea of a good family is very different from another person's ideas regarding what a good family is. 

Is the truth of family based on its structure? Is it only true if a family has both a Mom and Dad? While I believe that a husband and wife are the best platform in which to raise a family, I am also hesitant to say that a family is only true if it fits into a certain mold. Families come in many shapes and sizes. Some are divorced, some are widowed or widowers. 

I think the distinction here is that the biological connections of family just are, but the spiritual and emotional connections forged within a family are what makes the family true. They can have the qualities of sincerity, loyalty, honesty and unwavering love.  So in that way, I believe the family is true. 

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have been taught that the family is central to the Lord's plan for us and needs to be central in our lives. 

I think that to believe in family means to believe that family is important, that it is central to our lives and a way to make our lives richer. 

How can we protect the family? My husband and I have discussed this in depth quite a few times. I think the more and more I have thought about this, that the way I can protect my family is by making my marriage a priority. There are so many things in life that can distract me from my marriage whether it be my daughter, my pregnancy, my internship or the 15 credits I am taking in order to graduate this semester. This doesn't even include keeping my house clean, which with a two year old is difficult. 

I've read somewhere that cleaning with a toddler is like brushing your teeth while eating a box of oreo's. This is no exaggeration. 

Once my husband and I came to this conclusion, we decided that we would set aside one night a week to just be with each other. No electronics, no movies and nothing to distract us from being with one another. Sometimes this takes the form of a date but more often then not, we end up doing the dishes together had getting to actually have conversations, which are surprisingly difficult to come by in our lives at this moment. 

Another way for us to protect our family is to make sure that the Gospel is at the center of our lives and our decisions. In order to this we have made more distinct efforts to have family prayers as often as we can, family scripture study, keep up on tithing, temple attendance, family home evening and personal spiritual development activities (Scripture study, prayers..etc). Sometimes we fail at some of these things, but we are getting better and I completely believe that the point of this life is to progress towards perfection, not to achieve perfection in this life. Right?